help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Randomize
