Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
