Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
