I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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