and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
