You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
