WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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