it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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