Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
