He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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