I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
