Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
