HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
