people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
