they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
