ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
