Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
