im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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