He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
