Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
