chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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