but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
