get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Operation Purity has been aborted
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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