ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
