How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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