We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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