Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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