just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
