I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My bed smells like the plague
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
