her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
