I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he thought i was a dude.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
