TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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