Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
