I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm at about main and main street
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
