these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
