just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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