I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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