i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize