maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
