Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
