i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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