It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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