All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
