i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
