I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
