what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
