If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
