My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
