Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
