Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
