Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
