Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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