just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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