I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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