There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
