i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize