I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
