How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
