Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
