I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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