when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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