right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
