yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
