I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
