I wannas sexs uuuuu
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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